


Secret Base

by chocomint



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 20:23:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11974338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocomint/pseuds/chocomint
Summary: Yamada is invited to deliver a speech to the graduating students of Horikoshi High School. He searches the entire school, holding on a tiny piece of hope in his pocket. Then he remembers chunks of various memories in his life in Horikoshi's rooftop; the one he calls his secret base.





	Secret Base

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pennie14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pennie14/gifts).



“Me? It’s usually Nakajima-san, right?” Yamada knots his forehead looking at a fancy black and burgundy envelope stamped with a golden candle wax of Horikoshi High School’s seal. “I mean, comparing him with our seniors in Johnny’s, he’s like Takuya-san, or Kamenashi-san. Maybe YamaPi, or Matsujun-san. He’s like the star of this era.”

“The wind must have changed directions.” Chinen says with an evil grin. “You have officially been marked as Nakajima-san’s rival.”

Yamada gulps, his trepidation heightening at the vision of Nakajima’s glaring eyes. He flips open the envelope, careful not to ruin the seal, so that maybe he can seal it back when he reads Nakajima’s name on the letter.

But it is not sent wrongly.

Yamada is invited to give a speech to the graduating class of Horikoshi High School being an alumnus for five years ago.

Outsiders may think that Horikoshi High School is a sacred place. A castle, perhaps. Sure, it’s a school for

rich people, important people, actors, actresses, and athletes. Sure, people not belonging to any of these categories can be accommodated if they are extremely smart and are awarded with full scholarship. But this hierarchy is a threat to human existence, as Yamada knows.

For Yamada, it’s a prison – where your every move is being monitored, where you are not allowed to go to the restroom without a tailing bodyguard or a teacher, where you are not allowed to eat and hang out with your friends after school, and where love is forbidden like the apple in the Garden of Eden.

“I don’t know what I should talk about.” Yamada pouts. “It’s been so long, and I don’t really feel like stepping inside the school grounds again.”

“What are you? 17-year-old Ryosuke? You’re only saying that because you still don’t want to compete against Nakajima.” Chinen cusses, losing the growth mushroom in _Super Mario_.

“Dropping honorifics now, eh?”

“You’re above him, Ryosuke. The only reason he was transferred to the advance class during our second year in high school was to separate him from Ohgo-san. He’s not really that smart.”

Remembering Nakajima and Ohgo hits a sour spot in Yamada’s heart.

“I can’t believe Horikoshi is stricter than Johnny’s.”

Chinen laughs.

“What?” Yamada suddenly becomes conscious of his emotions, Chinen doesn’t know that he secretly hates Horikoshi.

“Now that I think about it, Nakajima was rumored dating Yoshida Yo-san. So that must be the reason you’re being invited.” Chinen continues to laugh.

“You’re contradicting. You said I was above Nakajima-san, but now, you’re saying I’m just an option.” Yamada scowls.

“Yeah, because Ryunosuke was invited during the time _Kimi no Na Wa_ increased the economy of animated movies. He did a better speech than Nakajima the year before.” Chinen stops playing. “And I was invited before you but I turned them down because pretty boy, yours truly, is going to Canada” He passes another controller to Yamada. “I’m surprised they aren’t inviting any of the girls. Shida perfects her essays in English, you know. And her Japanese compositions aren’t that bad.”

“Well, she’s Japanese!”

“Man, were you in the advance class, then? That’s right, nope.”

Yamada shuffles on his seat, turning his back from his friend – that’s enough teasing from the little brat. Enough pity parties.

“Seriously, though, are you going? You do pretty good job with your ending speeches in our concerts, so I know you can pull that off. And don’t you leave me here on the boss part!”

But it’s different. There is gratefulness with Yamada’s speeches in their concerts because he loves his fans, Hey! Say! JUMP’s fans make him whole. But Horikoshi, prestigious as it may seem, is the one place that boils hatred at his heart.

“Yeah, I suppose it’s a great opportunity to spread the beautiful face of _Edward Elric_.” he chuckles.

“I’m going home.” Chinen grunts and throws the controller at Ryosuke’s bare back.

An eerie silence slice through Yamada’s ears, deafening him for a moment. Coming back to his senses, he hears him calling. _“Yama-chan!”_

*********

Sitting at the edge of the panel, Yamada stares at the sea of people gathered in a confined hall: graduating students, parents, relatives, and the entire population of the school.

It is the only time in Horikoshi when every level of the hierarchy meets. Yamada smiles, maybe he could deliver an inspiring speech. He put his hand in his pocket, clutching the charm he brought with him.

The ceremony finishes, everyone swarms like bees, scattering to find their parents or friends. Out of an odd habit, he searches the crowd for someone out of ordinary. But the person he is looking for isn’t there. He knows, so he chuckles to himself, whispering how idiot he might have appeared.

“How would you like a tour in your alma mater?” The director taps on his shoulder. Yamada is just about to decline when the director added, “With no supervision whatsoever.”

“I have some time.” He smiles and bows thankfully.

*********

He walks idly at the corridors, looking occasionally at the students in their classrooms who are writing messages on huge graduation cards. It is the first time he strolls by the normal students’ corridor, it isn’t very different to where he was before, it is just the fact that the school accommodates celebrities differently.

He passes along the courtyard, and stops on his track when he sees a boy handing out his second button to the girl he likes. His heart sinks savoring the beautiful sight.

Yamada stands watching the boy’s smile as if it has been carved on his face. His eyes follow the girl’s direction. Yamada follows the girl with his eyes.

Slowly, very indiscreetly, the girl tosses the button at the nearby trash bin as she approached a celebrity a little more than 9 meters away. And the awe turns awful as he felt the boy drowning in his own tears.

He wasn’t wounded but his heart’s already been scarred.

*********

Yamada cuts his dilly-dallying and heads straight to the rooftop – the celebrity department has their own rooftop, so bodyguards or teachers usually just stay at the end of the stairwell. It is the only place in the entire school that Yamada calls his second home. It is where every precious moment happens. It is the only place unreachable by the creepy and undamaged stalking devices attached ubiquitously in every corner of the school.

He stands at the edge, overlooking the litter of people. His stomach churns for the height is unbearable. But he endures it, because maybe someone out of the ordinary would stand out. And the sliver of hope vanishes with the thinning crowd.

He lies on the floor, unmindful of the untidiness. He closes his eyes and recalls every secret the rooftop holds.

*********

_It was the first P.E. class he skipped. Chinen would ace it anyway, so there’s not a point competing against him. He lay on the floor, unmindful of the untidiness._

_“Yamada Ryosuke, right?” A hoarse voice came hovering over his clenched eyes._

_“I’m Nakajima Yuto. We’re classmates but I barely sit-in in our class.”_

_Yamada felt an uncertain touch of fear._

_“Who am I kidding? Of course, you know who I am. We sat together at the audition in Johnny’s but you hogged all the attention. So, I moved to AVEX and they gave me the attention that I wanted.”_

_“I’m not sure what to say.”_

_“You’re still an airhead.” Yuto chuckled, and he lay on the floor, unmindful of the untidiness._

_“You’re rarely in class and you’re skipping?”_

_“There isn’t a point, anyway. Chinen-san is hard to compete with.”_

_There is something in commonness that attracts two individuals together._

_And then they lay there, enjoying each other’s silent company._

_*****_

_Kamiki cried for the first time. His relationship with Shida was discovered by the school, so they were forcefully separated. At least that was what Kamiki told them that day._

_Yamada sighed and hugged Kamiki who bolted away from him. He wasn’t able to process his friend’s reaction for he saw Nakajima glaring at them on his peripheral vision. Yamada hated that. He hated himself for always looking at Nakajima as if he’s asking for validation. And he doesn’t understand why. Because he doesn’t want to understand._

_The human mind is tricky. Yamada tries to remember what Kamiki told him a week after his break up with Shida. But his head starts to pulse; signalling an impending headache. He opens his eyes, the clear sky creates a new sensation, like a refresher. For some moment, he savors the smell of the dry heat, then he lets out a deep breath, and starts to rewind his mind of different memories._

_There will always be an exception to the rule, and Nakajima was granted this immunity for he had become an important asset to the school._

_Yuto was playing with his PSP when Yamada opened the door to the rooftop. Ohgo was using his legs as her pillow, skinny but comfortable. Yuto lifted his eyes at the intruder. Their eyes met, Yuto smiled at him and motioned him to come closer. Yamada’s heart shattered. He doesn’t know what to do. But he doesn’t want to know. He felt his legs shaking as he approached the couple. His mind was racing: he wanted to lie and tell him he’s going to the restroom, he wanted to just sprint back to their classroom but Yuto’s presence generates a different kind of security. Yamada doesn’t want to let go._

_He sat beside him, for a moment he stared at Ohgo, wishing she was him. Then he looked at Yuto who abruptly closed Harvest Moon on his playing device. Nakajima passed his PSP to Ryosuke and he started playing with his girlfriend’s hair. She stirred and stared admiringly at Yuto. They exchanged content smiles and Yamada watched Ohgo mouthed the words “I love you”. He felt Yuto nodding his head. Yamada’s heart squeezed in its veins._

_For some more months, Yamada endured the pain because he wanted to ensure that Yuto was happy._

_Yamada shakes his head, placing himself back to the present. He knows. He knows how badly memories can paralyze a broken heart._

_One uneventful day during lunch time, Ohgo was rushed to the infirmary after someone hit her head from behind which caused the target point to bleed. It wasn’t serious, but that was enough to build suspicion that Yuto was an aggressive boyfriend. He was called in on the director’s office and they had to forcefully break them up._

_“At the very least, are you not going to investigate?” Yuto questioned.  “I was at the classroom finishing my math homework with Chinen-san.”_

_“We will. But right now, it isn’t safe for you and your career. S0, we’re revoking your immunities.”_

_Yamada received a text message from him that time. He asked him to skip the class period after lunch and join him on the rooftop. He didn’t want to, because he is not the type of person who takes advantage of someone else’s misfortune. But it wasn’t right to leave Nakajima, especially when he begged._

_“I don’t have any friends, Yama-chan. Please?”_

_The door was blocked by one of Nakajima’s bodyguards. When he saw Yamada, he opened the door and gestured for him to walk in. As per Yuto’s request, the bodyguard clicked the lock on the doorknob, which meant either Yuto or Yamada were the only ones allowed to open the door._

_Yamada found Yuto staring at his phone wallpaper and he knew it was Ohgo’s aesthetically taken photograph. He sat adjacent to him, but Yuto pulled him beside him and rested his head on Yamada’s shoulder. For a minute they were silent, then Yamada felt Yuto’s uneven breathing. He wasn’t sure but he assumed Yuto was crying, and he couldn’t even articulate any soothing words to ease his pain._

_“He wasn’t even worried about Suzuka!” Yuto tried to moderate the volume of his voice. “Only saying that it’s dangerous for my career! As if I’d buy that.”_

_Yamada wasn’t sure of what he was doing, but his hand reacted before he could even think. He patted Yuto’s head which made Yuto sob. Instinctively, he grabbed Yamada’s hand and wrapped it on his own right shoulder allowing him to take Yamada’s right shoulder and cry on it. Yamada didn’t mind. He couldn’t offer any words. But perhaps, his presence can ease a tiny portion of the chaos inside Yuto’s heart._

_Yamada allowed Yuto to cry, cry until his eyes were dry, and cry until he’s tired of crying. He fell asleep, and Yamada didn’t dare to wake him up even after hearing the heavy ringing of the bell for dismissal._

_He knew it was wrong, but he didn’t want to let the opportunity to slip through his fingers._

_“Nakajima-san?” he waited for a response. When he didn’t get any, Ryosuke took the liberty to kiss Yuto’s forehead._

*********

_Yuto wasn’t on speaking terms with anyone. Yamada wondered if it’s about Ohgo. If it was, why couldn’t he tell him? He was his only friend, wasn’t he?_

_The last week of the school year was like a salad from a convenience store past its best before date._ _It was the last Monday and Yamada noticed Yuto bolted out the door as soon as the bell rang for lunch. He scanned the room for Ohgo. She stayed seated, staring at the door where Yuto vanished. He didn’t have any bodyguards tailing behind him, so he ran to catch up with him._

_On the rooftop, Yamada witnessed Yuto pinning Mariya against the wall. His jaw dropped and his vision blurred as waves of unanswered questions jumbled across his mind._

_“You did it, didn’t you?” Yuto half-screamed. “You hurt my Suzuka!” He gritted his teeth, Yamada can see Yuto’s angry and trembling body._

_“Wha- what are you saying?” She avoided eye contact._

_“You used to bully her. Tell her how underserving she is of me. You knocked her a few times during PE class saying it was just an accident. Now you’re suddenly so nice to her? You even offered to give her a ride home when her driver didn’t arrive on time. You’re a fraud, Nishiuchi!”_

_“Why are you blaming me? Do you have any proof? I was just trying to help her recover from you. Maybe you did hurt her. And you, you’re just so blinded by your fame you couldn’t level yourself to her.” Her face tensed and she glared at Yuto._ _She started creating fake cry noises, and desperately looked around to escape from Yuto. Then she saw Yamada gaping at them._

_“Or maybe you asked him to do it.” She pointed at Yamada, like how Shinichi Kudou points at the suspect of the crimes he solves._

_“I like you, Yuto-kun. And I would never hurt you or the ones you love.” Mariya sniffed trying so hard to make her eyes well up._  

_Color drained from Nakajima’s face as he looked at Yamada’s clenched fists as if he was ready to punch someone. He released Mariya from his grip and ghastly moved to face Yamada._  

_“You’re disgusting.” Nakajima said flatly._  

_And Yamada swore that he heard the snickers of triumph from Mariya’s fake cries._

*********

“Damn it! Damn it! Damn, damn, damn!” Yamada is slapping his forehead, thinking that maybe this can push that memory out of his mind. But it wasn’t easy; it wasn’t easy to erase the words etched on his bleeding heart.

_It was the last Friday when Shida invited Yamada at the rooftop. She deliberately told him to come alone. Alone he came._

_“I like you, Yamada-kun.” Shida greeted him with a bento she made._

_Yamada opened his mouth to speak but Shida hushed him._  

_“I wouldn’t want my bento to be untouched. So, before you even speak, I want us to share this meal together. I’m being selfish. But I just don’t want my efforts to go to waste.” He looked at Shida. Her smile was pretty and genuine. Her hands were trembling, she must had been really nervous._

_The meal was delicious. They ate together in silence. Shida was just smiling, occasionally tucking her hair behind her ears when the wind messes it. Yamada gazed at Shida. And unconsciously he cried. He cried while consuming a meal he never imagined would touch his tongue. He cried because Kamiki. He cried because he knew that he cannot reciprocate the love she’s giving him. He cried because he didn’t want to hurt Kamiki._

_“Are you all right?” Shida scrambled to pull her handkerchief from her skirt pocket and started wiping Yamada’s tears._

_“I may never be able to taste this kind of meal ever again.” Yamada hiccupped._

_Shida knew. And her smile became sad. After finishing their lunch, Shida packed the empty lunchboxes neatly._

_“Do you have someone you like?” Shida’s eyes were rigid. “Figured I already went this length thinking you may like me, too. But I guess there’s someone better than me. No?”_

_Yamada racked his brain. He couldn’t tell her that he likes someone of the same gender. He couldn’t muster the courage to tell her that Kamiki was still in love with her, because he mustn’t stand on Kamiki’s shoes._

_“I like Nishiuchi-san.” He heard himself lie and immediately regretted it._

_“That’s why you carried her sins?” Shida squeezed her palms on her eyes. “You knew she was the one who attacked Suzuka-chan but you let Nakajima-kun believe that it was you. And Nakajima-kun lost the only person he acknowledged as his friend.”_

_Yamada’s head started to pulse, signaling an impending headache. He grabbed his hair with both of his hands and pulled at it. He didn’t know Nishiuchi harmed Ohgo. He just thought of saying that he likes her, so that Nakajima may think that he was jealous of him pinning Nishiuchi on the wall last Monday._ _All that started unwell would never end well._

*********

_Mariya and Ryosuke started going out before the start of their second year in high school._

_**“You’re** an idiot.” Chinen said, boring his eyes on his band member. “I knew you since we were 8-year-olds, and I can’t believe you’ll go out with that mean chick. I’d say I still root for Shida.”_

_“But I don’t like to hurt Kamiki.” Yamada thought, his fingers fidgeting._

_“Never mind hurting Shida, I don’t want to hurt Kamiki.” Chinen mimicked Yamada’s sad voice. “Is what you’ll say, right? I know you’re not attracted to girls, Yama-chan, because you grew up having sisters.”_

_“What? I – I don’t… I like…” Yamada stuttered, trying so hard to deny himself._

_“Nakajima-kun.” Chinen finished his sentence for him. “That’s why you fished Nishiuchi out of his sight. You don’t like her to look at him. At first, I really thought you’ll go berserk to the point of hurting his girlfriend. But I put faith first and doubt last on you, Yama-chan.”_

_They entered their classroom and everyone were as quiet as the cicadas in Winter. Posted on the board were the names of students moving to the advanced class, they were: Chinen Yuuri, Nakajima Yuuto, Nishiuchi Mariya, and Shida Mirai._

_Chinen’s jaw dropped and immediately he scanned the room for Kawashima. He saw her pouting and as he was approaching her, a teacher came to block his way._

_“I believe you’re in a wrong class, Chinen-san.”_

_Yuuri and Umika stared at each other. She nodded and flashed a significant smile. Chinen nodded back. The teacher guided him to the advanced class’ classroom. And Chinen felt his steps were heavy like he was descending the stairs to hell._

“Well, I guess not all that started well ends well.” Yamada remembered the day Chinen drank alone. Apparently, it was the night Kawashima ended their ties.

*********

_“Kamiki-kyun!” Yamada greeted with a smile. Kamiki gave him a stern look._

_“I thought you were better than him.” By him Kamiki referred to Nakajima. Kamiki never believed that Yamada could hurt Ohgo, so he opted for Nakajima plotting the entire incident by himself. “But you hurt Mirai. I can only watch her genuine smile from afar because I know somebody else makes her day happy, but then you rejected her. Now she doesn’t even have the strength to pull a false smile.”_

_“Kamiki-kun, I didn’t have the intention to hurt her.” Yamada looked on the floor and he realized they weren’t standing on the same ground anymore._

_“I only ever wanted her to be happy.” Kamiki looked outside the window. “When you hurt Mirai, you should’ve at least known that it’s a damage on me as well.”_

_“But I can’t say I like her when I really don’t!”_

_“But you can go and lie about you liking Nishiuchi?! That’s insane!”_

_Ohgo heard their conversation and butted in. “Yamada-san did me a favor for doing so. I knew that snake likes Yuto, and I knew she was the one who attacked me. We were the only students near the library that day. She walked out the library as I was about to walk in, but she cut to the corner. I didn’t really mind, maybe she’s just going to tie her hair up, but then I felt the force on my head and passed out.”_

_“That’s why they planted hidden cameras all over the school.” Umika reported. “They’re watching our every move now. It wasn’t like this when our seniors were here. It started only when you were injured, Suzu-chan.”_

_"_ _Thank you, Yamada-san.” Ohgo said and leaned a little closer. “But I’ll warn you, you’re dating a psycho. And worst, she’s going to spend two years in Horikoshi with Yuto. They should have just moved her to the normal class.”_

_“I need to steer Nishiuchi away from Nakajima-kun as much as possible.” Yamada thought but he didn’t have the courage to think of a plan. He’s not the type of person who would hurt someone for personal gain._

*********

Yamada couldn’t remember anything significant about the days he spent dating Nishiuchi, but he did what every man of logic would do, he took Nishiuchi under his care and understood her.

_That entire two years, he could only watch Nakajima from afar. Somehow, he knew how Kamiki felt toward Shida. In the morning, they arrive at the gate of the school almost at the same time. He watched Nakajima climb out his car and smile at everyone who sees him passing. Sometimes their eyes would meet. Nakajima would frown at him but he will wave his hand._

_Every time the advance class would pass by their classroom, Yamada would sneak a look at Nakajima. He was occasionally with Irie Jingi or Nomura Shuhei. But he also saw him playing with Chinen.”_

_Chinen would often tease Yamada about how lively and cheerful the advance class was. He would always tell him how awesome Nakajima was, and Chinen would say, “You know, Nakajima always say that he wished Yamada was smart enough to be in the advance class, too.”_

_Yamada would smile sheepishly. But every time he did, Chinen would say, “In other words, Nakajima thinks you’re an idiot. You are, by the way.”_

_Nishiuchi appeared on the rooftop and Chinen had rolled his eyes. “If you guys planning to make out, at least tell me beforehand so I would just go with Yuuto and eat curry.” He left them and locked the door._

_Mariya sat beside Ryosuke. She was lonely, but he didn’t know any words that would make her feel at ease._

_“I know I did a lot of wrong, awful things.” She stated. “And I’m being thrown out the ocean in the advance class. Chinen-san is probably not telling you, but Nakajima-kun always makes fun of me.” Nishiuchi grabbed Yamada’s hand and squeezed it._

_“I don’t know why you suddenly told Shida-chan that you like me, but I know it wasn’t true. You’re always so cold and quiet around me. But I thank you. Thank you for sticking up for me. It was hard for me, too. I was always looking for validation. But you, you showed me that I didn’t need to.” Nishiuchi smiled. “I’m changing school tomorrow. I’m not really sure, but I don’ know if it’s proper to say that I’m breaking up with you. You only treated me like a sister.” She laughed and cupped Yamada’s cheeks to kiss his forehead. “Nakajima-kun is always snatching a snapshot of you, did you know?”_

_Nishiuchi stood up, smiled at him and said, “Thank you, Ryo-chan. Thank you for understanding me. Somehow, I learned to like you. But I wouldn’t hurt you in any way, and that’s the truth.”_

_Yamada stood up and grabbed her by the waist. “I will support you no matter what. I also learned how to like you, Mariya-chan, but it would really be nice if we could still be friends.”_

_Nishiuchi laughed. “I’m like your sister from another mother, Ryo-chan.” They hugged each other for quite a long time._

*********

_It was the day of their graduation and they gathered on the rooftop. Nomura, Irie, Chinen, Nakajima, Kamiki, and Yamada formed a circle of hug. When they broke apart, Kamiki dragged Yamada away from the group._

_“See. I’m giving my second button to Mirai. She’s coming here with Ohgo, Umika and Nozomi. I don’t want her to see you so could you please hide behind that giant.” He pointed at Nakajima. “Chinen wouldn’t be able to cover your fat frame.”_

_“Why are you still so mad at me?”_

_“I’m not, you idiot.”_

_Suzuka came in first and her eyes met Yuto’s. For a moment, they smiled at each other and Yuto rushed to her to give her a big hug._

_“I see, you’ve already given your second button to someone else, haven’t you?” Ohgo whispered on his shoulder._

_“Can we stay like this for a couple more minutes? I really want to memorize your warmth and your scent, Suzuka.” Nakajima kissed the top of her head. And she obliged, tightening her grip on the back of his uniform._

_Yamada’s heart ached. Nakajima had given his second button away. And he was hugging Ohgo as tight and comfortable as it seems._

_“You’ve already given your second button to someone else, huh, Yamada-kun?” Shida happily showed her priced crooked teeth and somehow the weight on Yamada’s heart lightened._

_Kamiki pushed Yamada who landed on the floor. Everyone laughed as Kamiki’s heated face emitted air from his nose and ears._

_“Hide, you jerk!”_

_Shida giggled. “I’m taking this.” She pulled out Kamiki’s second button without permission. She looked at it, the way she’d look on the flowers Kamiki had given her when they were dating. “But it doesn’t mean we are dating again, okay?” Her face became serious and without permission, Kamiki pulled her in an embrace._

_“I’m so sorry, I’ve hurt you. I’m so sorry I had to make you wait.” Shida poured out a lot of her feelings._

_“I don’t mind. Because I will always wait. You can hurt me as much as you want, but I will always endure it.” Kamiki didn’t mind if it was forbidden or not. He didn’t mind if Shida would get mad at him and throw his button back at him. But he did what he waited for so long to do. Kamiki kissed Shida full on her lips._

*********

Yamada hears the door creak open. The director must have followed him discreetly. He is in the rooftop for a long time, maybe the director thought Yamada had jumped off the rooftop. So he pretends to sleep, like a high school student skipping math because he forgot to do his homework.

“Yamada Ryosuke, right?” A hoarse voice came hovering over his clenched eyes.

“I’m Nakajima Yuto. We are both actors but we’re rooted from different agencies.”

Yamada feels an uncertain touch of fear.

“Who am I kidding? Of course, you know who I am. I usually do the speeches for every senior batch graduating in this school but you made your way again and stole the spotlight from me.”

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“You’re still an airhead.” Yuto chuckled, and he lay on the floor, unmindful of the untidiness. They are quiet for a whole minute. When Yamada opens his eyes to check on Nakajima, he finds him staring directly at him. He looks away, his ears turning red from embarrassment.

Nakajima laughs, pinching Yamada’s earlobes lightly.

 “You might be wondering why I’m here. Well, guess it is just a coincidence, but the batch you gave your speech to, is the batch where my brother is. They might’ve banned me from giving speeches because apparently, quote, unquote, I am a bad example for rumor dating someone hypothetically older than my mother.” Nakajima laughs so hard he feels his lungs against his ribcage. “They can’t ban me from attending my only brother’s graduation, can they?”

Yamada touches his pocket. His charm worked just as fine since that one person he combs the entire Horikoshi for is here.

“You should be with your brother.” Yamada sits up and looks at Nakajima. His heart clutches. _“He didn’t change at all. He’s still the Yuto that makes my heart jump out of its place and the Nakajima that makes my heart fall to pieces. I hate him as much as I love him.”_

“I’ll be going back to where my brother is, but right now, I’m thinking of something to add in my _Pensieve_.”  Yuto also sits up.

Yamada is starting to save a new memory when all of a sudden Nakajima grabs Yamada’s hand and put it on his chest. “I’m here because my heart leads me.” Yamada feels the pounding of Yuto’s heart. He gaps at him, shaken and unable to breathe. With his free hand, Nakajima pulls something out of his pocket.

“I meant to give you this. But I didn’t have the strength to do so.” He chuckles at his own foolishness. He opens his closed hand and it reveals the same charm Yamada has in his pocket, but Yuto’s is in a tiny protective case. “It’s the second button of the uniform I wore when we graduated. You must think I’m crazy, but I bring this every time I go back here. Hoping that one day, you’ll show up. Though I know you hated this school so much.”

Yamada cries. He pulls from his pocket the second button of the uniform he wore at the day of their graduation.

“I saved this for you.” He manages to say despite the ugly low grunts his noisy tears are making. Yuto’s warm and unwelcomed hand shoves the tears from Ryosuke’s beautiful face. Nakajima’s red thread sew Yamada’s heart back to pieces.

“I loved you. I’m loving you. I love you. And I will always love you.” Yamada tumbles forward to embrace Yuto. His warmth transmits security. Yuto cups his cheeks and lifts his chin.

“And I will always love you.” Yuto kisses Ryosuke for what feels like forever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Dearest, Pennie14,
> 
> I know (assume, mostly) that this is not even remotely close to the alumni party you had in your prompt. But as I was writing, I realized that I didn't know much about the other graduates of Horikoshi in 2012. I couldn't place them in one place. I am really sorry.
> 
> But I hope you enjoy this piece. ♥
> 
> Love,  
> YYE 2017 participant 
> 
> S/O to the mods for being extremely generous with time! ♥  
> Eternal thanks to K! for being supportive and checking in on me. ♥


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